hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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