his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
