Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
