There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
