how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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