Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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