do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
