Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
