so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
