If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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