i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
