Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
