Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
