1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
