You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
