Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
