Don't you send me to vm
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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