Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wear drunk well.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
