Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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