I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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