im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
