big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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