I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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