were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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