easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize