I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
