I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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