I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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