this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize