Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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