I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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