you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
