Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
