is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
