can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
