even my farts smell like vagina
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
