We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
