Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
