I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
