who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
