he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
