What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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