we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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