you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize