How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
