NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
