garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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