She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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