You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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