Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
