i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
