Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
