Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize