dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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