I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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