Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
