The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
