His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
