She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
