i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
