omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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