You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
